Grief is a very overpowering emotion and a natural process which occurs following a death.
For some hours or days following the loss of someone close we feel totally stunned, in shock. A feeling of disbelief is common, even if the death has been expected.
This feeling of emotional numbness helps us to cope with the practicalities and various arrangements that have to be attended to.
The period of shock may last till after the funeral and is often replaced by a sense of agitation and yearning for the person who has died. This can affect you in everyday life with difficulties in sleeping, concentration and being able to relax. it is also quite normal to feel anger at this time often directed towards medical staff for not preventing the death, towards family and friends, religion or even towards the person who has died.
Another very common feeling is guilt. You will, without doubt, go over in your mind all the things you wished you had said or done. It is often experienced if an initial sense of relief is felt when someone has died after a long illness.
Death is usually beyond the control of anyone and the feeling of relief after an expected death is perfectly natural, very common and nothing to feel guilty about. It can be difficult for other people to understand or cope with someone who may burst into tears for no apparent reason. Some people who can’t deal with this tend to stay away at the time when they are most needed.
These strong and confusing emotions are generally followed by periods of sadness and depression. Grief can be sparked off a long time after the death by things that bring back memories.
Don’t turn your back on grief, walk with it, it’s natural and there is support on the journey.
Clouds fill the sky;
Your life darkens and the world disappears;
Everything becomes totally meaningless.
But, as with time, the clouds will pass and
reveal the sun which was there all the time.
As you look into the sunlight, your face
shines again whilst your shadow appears behind you.
The future beckons as you hold out a
nervous and shaking hand.
One step at a time
One day at a time
Slowly but surely your strength will grow
and slowly but surely life will grow.
There was a time when every day seemed like yesterday
But there will come a time when today greets tomorrow;
When your mirror becomes a window;
It is then that you will see your future
and not reflect on the past.
Have Faith, have Courage and have Hope
for you will survive.
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